When have I ever resorted to actually being a bitch? I cannot believe I have to raise my tone in such a way that it is even scary for me to hear. And yet, I still get shut down. Take it, shut up, accept it, and leave with what I have said and put it to rest. I hate to actually hurt people. I don’t believe in hurting people in any way, because I don’t like mistreatment at all. I don’t like to play revenge. There was nothing else I could do, nothing to get my voice out, and so I took my therapist’s advice and went with it. I can’t regret it, I can’t change it because it’s potentially the best thing I could’ve done before I really take a bullet to my brain.
I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and you shall find
Oh, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
I don’t think the world is sold
I’m just doing what we’re told
I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive
-OneRepublic
Can you fall for someone even if you don’t ever talk to them? You just look at them and realize they’re smiling at you or laughing at you in their head. All it took for me was his respect and attentiveness…he’s got me. Maybe it’s just admiration from a distance??
